Of this earth?

Hmmm... I think I can really relate to alot of peoples posts lately. About my new job at Staples, well its a bit overwhelming all the stuff ya gotta know. Its so much harder than I thought it would be. Seriously, but at the same time its a really good thing, a blessing. Just lately I've been distracted with camping and interviews and licsences and stuff, and its just made me go back and forth with God. Hes been so faithful, and blessed me so much its crazy!! At the same time I feel like I long for more from him and I can't seem to get it. I feel really empty in places in life and I know hes the one I need, but can't seem to get that fulfilment from him. Its just so tiring and hard to press into God sometimes. It should be though, it shouldn't be about me at all. Going to God isn't for my little fill up and boost of the day, its the measly pathedic gift I offer, when I owe soooo much more. I need more humility, then I might not think about me so much. I want to not only know trtuh but really live it out. Its so hard to beat the flesh, the earthly mind. I need more faith so that despite my feelings, thoughts, temporary sets of mind, I can stand strong held up by truth. I'm tired of talking about it though ya know? I really want to live, start, now! But at the same time I think i might be far from ready, or maybe I'm just holding myself back. I don't know... I'm so earthly, of the flesh, and I long to be so made to be like Christ more completely. Just seems like I hang on to my scars and human brokeness and empty places, cause somehow I forget the truth thats there is healing and fulfilment completly in Christ. I am so frustrated... I wish it were clearer. Praise God, for even in my foolish, sinful and childish ways he blesses, plans, and comforts.